I am 33 years old and have been friends with this guy since we were toddlers. He has been married to his wife for 3 years and they\u2019ve been together for 6. I know her pretty well, and the 3 of us hang out quite often, though less so after they had a kid last year.<\/p>\n
He\u2019s been telling me how tough becoming a dad has been on his marriage and how he doesn\u2019t get to spend time with his wife any more. I\u2019m neither married nor a dad but I try to listen to him while also reminding him that this is something he should have been at least somewhat prepared for.<\/p>\n
2 weeks ago, he asks if he can hang out at my apartment to \u2018get a break\u2019. He knew I\u2019d be at work that day but said he just wanted a change of scene so I said sure whatever. I get back from work and notice he\u2019s a bit weird. Asked him whats up and he said he\u2019s been having an affair for 3 months and had sex with his girlfriend in my home that day while I was at work.<\/p>\n
I was disgusted and upset and asked him to leave. He said I wouldn\u2019t understand, I told him I didn\u2019t want to have that conversation and he left. Since that day, I\u2019ve been wrestling with telling his wife.<\/p>\n
She of course deserves to know and needs to leave him or at least have a conversation with him. But I also know she\u2019s going through a lot being a new mom and my friend already does not do much around the house or with childcare. This will add to her stress and worries and she also is an immigrant without strong family support in this country. So that\u2019s telling me I shouldn\u2019t tell her and just let her find out when he slips up or when he feels the guilt and tells her. At the moment, he\u2019s able to justify it through some twisted logic.<\/p>\n