An elderly gentleman dials Pizza Hut to place an order\u2026<\/p>\n
CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut?<\/p>\n
GOOGLE: No, sir, it’s Google Pizza.<\/p>\n
CALLER: My apologies, I seem to have dialed the wrong number.<\/p>\n
GOOGLE: No need to apologize, sir. Google acquired Pizza Hut last month.<\/p>\n
CALLER: Oh, alright. I’d like to order a pizza.<\/p>\n
GOOGLE: The usual, sir?<\/p>\n
CALLER: My usual? How do you know what I usually order?<\/p>\n
GOOGLE: Based on our caller ID data, the last 12 times you called, you ordered an extra-large pizza with three types of cheese, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, and meatballs on a thick crust.<\/p>\n
CALLER: Fantastic! That’s what I want.<\/p>\n
GOOGLE: May I suggest trying a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes, and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust this time?<\/p>\n
CALLER: What? I’m not interested in a vegetarian pizza!<\/p>\n
GOOGLE: Your cholesterol levels are a concern, sir.<\/p>\n
CALLER: How do you know that?<\/p>\n
GOOGLE: We cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records, including blood test results from the last 7 years.<\/p>\n
CALLER: Fine, but I don’t want a vegetarian pizza. I already take medication for my cholesterol.<\/p>\n
GOOGLE: Excuse me, sir, but you haven’t been consistent with your medication. Our database shows you purchased only one box of 30 cholesterol tablets at Lloyds Pharmacy four months ago.<\/p>\n
CALLER: I got more from another pharmacy.<\/p>\n
GOOGLE: That doesn’t appear on your credit card statement.<\/p>\n
CALLER: I paid in cash.<\/p>\n
GOOGLE: However, your bank statement indicates you didn’t withdraw enough cash.<\/p>\n
CALLER: I have other sources of cash.<\/p>\n
GOOGLE: Unfortunately, that information doesn’t reflect in your latest tax returns, unless acquired through an undisclosed income source, which is against the law!<\/p>\n
CALLER: WHAT THE!!!<\/p>\n
GOOGLE: I apologize, sir, our intent is to assist you with such information.<\/p>\n
CALLER: Enough! I’ve had it with Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, and all the others. I’m heading to an island without the internet, TV, phone service, or prying eyes.<\/p>\n
GOOGLE: I understand, sir, but before you go, you need to renew your passport. It expired six weeks ago\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
An Old Man Calls Pizza Hut To Order A Pizza An elderly gentleman dials Pizza Hut to place an order\u2026 CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut? GOOGLE: No, sir, it’s Google Pizza. CALLER: My apologies, I seem to have dialed the wrong number. GOOGLE: No need to apologize, sir. Google acquired Pizza Hut last month. CALLER: […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1430,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1187,319,1192,661,746,1189,1190,1188,1191],"class_list":["post-1425","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-main","tag-calls","tag-conversation","tag-delivery","tag-funny","tag-old-man","tag-order","tag-pizza","tag-pizza-hut","tag-telephone"],"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/www.fnymonster.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/An-Old-Man-Calls-Pizza-Hut-To-Order-A-Pizza.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/es_es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1425","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/es_es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/es_es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/es_es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/es_es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1425"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/es_es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1425\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1431,"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/es_es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1425\/revisions\/1431"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/es_es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1430"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/es_es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1425"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/es_es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1425"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/es_es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1425"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}