{"id":2579,"date":"2025-01-01T08:13:10","date_gmt":"2025-01-01T08:13:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/?p=2579"},"modified":"2025-01-01T08:18:56","modified_gmt":"2025-01-01T08:18:56","slug":"an-australian-army-recruit-sends-home-a-letter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/hi\/an-australian-army-recruit-sends-home-a-letter\/","title":{"rendered":"An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n
\n

\"1\"<\/h2>\n

Dear Mum & Dad,<\/h2>\n

I am well. Hope you\u2019re too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin\u2019 on the farm \u2013 tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don\u2019t hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack \u2013 nothin\u2019!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there\u2019s lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!<\/p>\n

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there\u2019s no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don\u2019t get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are dead because we\u2019ve been on a \u2019route march\u2019 \u2013 geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!<\/p>\n

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin\u2019 \u2013 dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a possum\u2019s bum and it don\u2019t move and it\u2019s not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target! You don\u2019t even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don\u2019t have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!<\/p>\n

Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy \u2013 it\u2019s not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.<\/p>\n

Turns out I\u2019m not a bad boxer either and it looks like I\u2019m the best the platoon\u2019s got, and I\u2019ve only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers \u2013 he\u2019s 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I\u2019m only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin\u2019 wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t complain about the Army \u2013 tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how good it is.<\/p>\n

Your loving daughter,<\/p>\n

Sheila.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Mum & Dad, I am well. Hope you\u2019re too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin\u2019 on the farm \u2013 tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don\u2019t hafta<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2580,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2184],"tags":[2307,2306,661,663,2308,1010,2309,1008],"class_list":["post-2579","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny-jokes","tag-army","tag-australia","tag-funny","tag-humor","tag-letter","tag-military","tag-recruit","tag-soldier"],"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/jokesoftheday.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Funny-Joke-An-Australian-Army-Recruit-sends-home-a-letter.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2579","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2579"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2579\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3153,"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2579\/revisions\/3153"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2580"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2579"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2579"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nine9ja.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2579"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}