Bubba The Old Redneck From Georgia Decides To Travel
Bubba, an elderly Southerner from Georgia, decides to journey across the South to Virginia, hoping to find a new home. Upon reaching Franklin, he falls in love with the place and decides to settle down. However, before making it his permanent residence, he needs to secure a job.
Entering the office of an international paper company, Bubba fills out an application for the position of an experienced log inspector. Fortunately, they are in need of someone, and the log foreman takes Bubba on a ride into the forest to assess his knowledge.
Stopping the truck on the side of the road, the foreman points to a tree and challenges Bubba to identify its species and estimate the board feet of lumber it contains. Impressively, Bubba correctly identifies it as white pine with 383 board feet.
Encouraged, the foreman points to a larger tree of a different class further down the road, asking the same questions. Bubba confidently replies, “That’s a loblolly pine, and it’s got about 456 clear board feet.”
Even more impressed, the foreman gives one final test. They drive a bit further, and he points to another tree, asking Bubba to identify it. Without hesitation, Bubba replies, “White oak, 242 board feet at best.”
Feeling outsmarted, the foreman decides on one last challenge. He stops the truck, hands Bubba chalk, and asks him to mark an ‘X’ on the front of a distant tree. Puzzled, the foreman wonders how Bubba could determine the front of the tree. However, Bubba walks around it, studying the ground, and confidently marks an ‘X’ on the trunk.
When questioned about how he knew the front, Bubba nonchalantly replies, “Cuz somebody took a s**t behind it.” The foreman, amused and realizing Bubba’s practical knowledge, gives him the job on the spot.
And so, Bubba begins his new job that very same day, armed with his unique, down-to-earth wisdom.